'She looks like the real thing, she tastes like the real thing. My fake plastic love."-Radiohead

Canal Street.
If there is a Heaven on Earth, Canal Street might be it.

I came. I saw. I bought. Canal Street has been conquered.
I managed to walk away with two great (suspiciously great as a matter of fact) imitation Chanel and Dolce and Gabbana handbags...with matching wallets. They are fantastic. I am so proud of myself for my haggling.

It is actually a sensory overload. Located in Chinatown, as soon as you walk up those subway steps and onto the street people are pushing iPod minis, fake rolexes (a.k.a. a Folex), and shouting, "Chanel! Louis! Gucci! Prada! Tiffany Jewelry!" There are more shops crammed into the sidewalks than pimples scrunched on a junior high boy's face.

It caught my eye. Somewhere in between the third store and when I had to go back to the ATM, there it was. A Dolce and Gabbana knock off crafted at some magical knock off sweat shop. Hot pink with an animal print, it was my heart's desire. I could never afford the real one and here was an almost identical replica hanging in front of me. I got the matching wallet as well.

People look at you differently when you are walking with a designer bag, fake or not. I don't know if they are contemplating mugging you because you must have money, or if they genuinely see you as a league apart from the ordinary. I'd like to think (for the sake of my new purse) that it is the second. Mostly because when I walk around with it, I feel different.

My fake plastic love. My fake reason of importance. My fake purse which gives me fake confidence.

And I don't mind one bit.

Which makes me wonder what is wrong with me? As Jane Austen once wrote:

"Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us."

I think Fergie, in all her infinite wisdom (HA!), might have the answer.

"Love’s like a runway but which one do I love more
No emotional baggage, just replace it with Dior
Love’s like a runway, so what’s all the fussing for
Let’s stop chasing them boys and shop some more

I know I might come off as negative
I be looking for labels, I ain’t looking for love
Relationships are often so hard to tame
A Prada dress has never broken my heart before"
-"Labels or Love"

Is it that we redirect our feelings into a penchant for shopping? Purses will never tell us we look fat. Shoes will always be there for us. Designer sunglasses care about our well-being; that's why they have UV protection. Yes, I believe we are transplanting our feelings from men to Gucci handbags, from work to Dolce and Gabbana dresses, from homework to Pashmina scarves and from our parents' nagging to a bottle of CoCo Chanel.

Tomorrow is D-day. I start the 'ol 9-5. Wish me luck. Here's to hoping I don't get mugged.