“I’m coming over, but it never was enough. I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you. I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” –TBS

Some things I miss about home:

• My dogs.
o Loves of my life. Everyone has a dog here, it seems. And small dogs, like Yorkies are just the right size for cardboard size apartments.
• Inexpensive food.
o It gets pretty rough on the wallet eating out here. Although, my roommate and my friend Steve and I found pizza by the slice for only $1 the other night! It was fabulous.
• Taco Bell.
o Yeah, I know. You people think I’m crazy. But, seriously, there is a TB on every corner in COMO and we take that for granted. There is like one TB here and there was an expose done on it because there were rodents dining…after hours, if you get my drift. Due to that little fact, I have yet to grab a burrito from there.
• Having all my shoes available.
o I kid you not, I brought a whole suitcase completely devoted to my shoes up to New York. However, it wasn’t enough. The process of determining which shoes to bring was difficult and I feel some valuable players were cut from the team. Sacrifices were made and now I must make do.
• My feet being clean.
o I swear my feet are always dirty here. Wearing flip flops is like inviting grim to gravitate to your lower limbs. It’s because most of the city has a fine layer of filth blanketing it; like a house that hasn’t been dusted in months (my crappy apartment).
• Not knowing what I was missing out on.
o Now that I’m in NYC, I know how great it is. All of a sudden, I find myself constantly thinking about how soon I’ll be leaving and how sad that makes me. I don’t want to go back to driving my gas guzzling SUV, or back to all the people who broke my heart or treated me poorly, or my crappy little apartment, or my last semester at Mizzou.


I feel like I came to New York as one of those girls trying to escape her baggage and those small town things that held her back. Now, I am scared to death of going back to that lifestyle. People don’t really know me here, and I don’t really know them. And for some reason, that is comforting.



Lauren and I make a cute couple.



Here is proof that Boyz II Men is still around. I actually saw them perform so it's legit.



The City view from Brooklyn.

"The worst part about getting bags under your eyes is finding shoes to match." -Adrienne Gusoff

Having lunch with Savannah today got me thinking...

I know. That's never good.

Why is it that shoes and men have such power over us? Is it the beauty of a pair of stilettos that make them must have? Likewise, can a beautiful man make us drool the same way we did for those red Marc Jacobs pumps we eyed in Greenwich Village? Like a gorgeous pair of shoes, gorgeous men often boost you self-esteem, making you feel all the more attractive. However, they often grow uncomfortable, troublesome and begin to wear on you before the day is done.

I find myself packing away my nice heels in my purse and walking to work in my comfy sandals that I have had forever. I only pull out those beautiful heels when it is necessary and as soon as work is over, I'm ready for my worn in flats. Are women that way with men as well?

Do we only wear our nice men out at certain times? Will we always go back to what we know and what is easy?

Sometimes I'm afraid to wear my designer shoes out in the city. It's dirty, and there is trash and mud everywhere. I don't want to expose them to the grit of the Big Apple. I don't want to see them scuffed. I think I am afraid to see the men in my life scuffed as well, as if some flaw will make them unwearable.

Recently, an old pair of shoes showed back up. A pair I was sure I had left in Missouri where they belonged. I had loved those shoes, worn them everyday. They fit perfectly. Other girls had envied me when I wore them in public. But one day I looked down and the shoes were all scuffed up and I was unable to ever wear them out in public again. Like a bad penny, I threw the shoes out only to have them walk back months later.

Over the time they had been gone, I began to forget how flawed they were. All I remembered were how great the shoes were when I first bought them. But once they showed back up, clicking their heels at my door, I remembered all the blisters they caused and the time they decided to venture out onto some other girls' foot. Damn shoes.

And that's when I realized nothing beats a pair of comfortable shoes. They may be sandals, or tennis shoes, or slippers. You probably put them on everyday and don't appreciate them. They don't scuff, they don't give you blisters, they just support you. And all a girl wants in the end is to be supported.

Relationships are often so hard to tame. A Prada dress has never broken my heart before. No emotional baggage, just big bags filled with Dior.

There are a few things in this world I know I will never be. Never. Without a shadow of a doubt.

1. I will never be a socks with sandals person.
2. I will never be a Hannah Montana fan.
3. I will never date a smoker.
4. I will never like the Yankees.

The last statement is the one we will focus on. Being in the crowded Big Apple, I am surrounded by people all the time. The subway is packed, the streets are packed, the restaurants are packed. And I'll be damned if I can't go five minutes without seeing someone with a Yankees hat on.

Maybe I'm bitter. I'm a Royals fan to the core. Die hard. New. Blue. Tradition. And you can bet I was at a sports bar rooting them on when they spanked the Yanks.

Yankees fans drive me nuts. It's like they are drunk all the time. I can't say I blame them. You'd have to get me on something to like the boys. But they are loud and boisterous, unrestrained, and downright bitchy. Of course, so are most New Yorkers.

It's not because they aren't good that I don't like them (hello, I'm a Royals fan after all), its their personality, it's the personalities of their fans. I don't want to be like that. So, don't worry Missouri, I will not fall in line and jump on the Jeter bandwagon.

One of the hardest things to get used to is the men in New York. They are disrespectful, hormonal, and very vocal about what they are thinking. They also have a bad habit of following you and that really creeps me out. Every time I go out there they are; shouting obscenities, telling me what they'd like to do to me, staring at me. And by no means am I trying to draw said attention. Just the other day, a guy in a pedophile white van slowed down alongside me as I walked and drove slowly along staring at me out his window until I reached the subway.

I thought someone was going to jump out and pull me in. I would have been on one of those milk cartons.





In spite of that, I think I could do this whole New York thing. I think New York suits me. Okay, it more than suits me, it fits me like a glove. Thank goodness Savannah feels the same way. With the exception of the occasional wrong subway car choice, we float perfectly about the city. Unlike COMO, there really isn't a shortage of things to do. But there is always a shortage on money. I wish I had enough to do all the things The City has to offer.

Legally Blonde: The Musical is set for Sunday. Shakespeare in the park should be coming up one day this week. I'll keep you posted. Every Monday night they show a different movie in the park and Sav and I have vowed to go whenever we can and picnic it up.

I thought I would miss Columbia more. I thought I would miss people more. But I seem to be doing alright. I just miss my dogs like crazy.

Sav and I went to Greenwich the other day. We went to the famous Magnolia Bakery from Sex and the City. The cupcakes were awesome! Greenwich is such a beautiful part of town. There are cozy bookshops, and parks where children laugh and expensive high end clothing stores like Marc Jacobs and Coach and Gucci, run by fashionable gay men. I wish I could afford to live there. Maybe after my second book makes it.

I don't do sadness, not even a little bit. Just don't need it in my life, don't want any part of it.

Lost.

No, not the hit television series on weekly. Lost, lost. The kind where you get that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach and everyone around you looks like they might be out to get you. That is where you would have found me yesterday. Somewhere between the Bronx Zoo and 30 Rockefeller, I was hopelessly lost.

Shooting for Channel One is awesome. Not only do I get to do real work, but I also get out of the office. So, I headed uptown; past Yankee Stadium, past 86th street.

As soon as the cab drove off, I knew I was in trouble. The Bronx is a far cry from Stuy Town or Rockefeller Plaza. Immediately I saw there were no cabs driving up and down the street. But I didn't worry too much and went ahead and got what I needed on camera. Everyone who saw me on the street would shout, "Are you with ABC?"

To me, this is quite demeaning. ABC? Gross.

When it came time to leave, all these white town cars pulled up and asked if I needed a ride. Makeshift Taxis, which I later learned were called "Gypsy Cabs," with cameras attached to their rearview mirror. None of them took credit cards, which is what I was given to help with transportation. None of them even really spoke English.

So, I was stranded and lost in the Bronx with thousands of dollars worth of equipment.

Somehow I ended up on the subway, dragging in a huge tripod and camera bag. People gave funny looks. I was on the subway for over an hour before I finally made it back.

Savannah got us tickets to the Musical Spring Awakening. Being my second musical ever, I only had Spamalot to compare it to. And let me tell you, this was no Spamalot.

Spring Awakening boast R rated themes and 8 Tony awards, including Best Musical.



If it could be considered racy, this musical had it. Nudity, suicide, abortion, sex, homosexuality, abuse…the list goes on.

However, there was something very remarkable about the production. I can see why it won so many awards. The acting was amazing and the songs were really good.

I was not too much of a Republican to enjoy it.

On the list for next week: Legally Blonde, The Musical.

Old people coming back into my life have caused me to reflect on the past. Ironically, I think a Spring Awakening song lyric can some it up better than I could say.

"They say you go blind and maybe it's true.
We've all got our junk and my junk is you."




New York Sky Line from the Brooklyn bridge.



Roomies..

Barry Manilow digs my street.

I live on Avenue C.
It is in a district called Stuyvesant Town; Stuy Town.

Apparently, Barry Manilow has also been in the area. Judging from his lyrics, I think he enjoyed it.

"Hey, Hey, Hey everybody now
Come go walkin' with me now
Walk up Avenue C now
Chicks all lookin' so pretty
they don't give me no pity
Avenue C is the grooviest in the city.

I never dug an avenue more enjoyable to me
C Avenue is groovy,
Yes it was groovy as it could be.
Walk with me down Avenue C
Man I really hope to say,
Come on baby, while we ramble.
Walk beside me while we ramble.
You dig it too I feel you do.
What a scenic hike.
It's a walk that you're bound to like
Y'got A on the one side
B on the other
C in the middle
Baby." -Barry Manilow

A couple of things strike me as odd when reading these lyrics. First, it is not a lovely walk. There is garbage piled on the street and it smells. And they say that it used to be worse. Where the heck was Manilow walking back then? The only thing he got right is that is is quite the 'scenic hike.' And by hike, I mean it is quite far from the subway and there are lots of odd people who like to chill out on the sidewalk.

Finally, I don't know if it is just my poor education or maybe Manilow is dyslexic, but I thought it went A, B, C. But, Manilow, in his infinite wisdom, corrects society by claiming 'A on the one side, and B on the other. C in the middle."

A, C, B?

Nice Manilow, very nice.




Sav and I out and about, eating Mexican.